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Bad Kitty School Daze Page 2


  Hmmm . . . Im not too sure what to make of this, Petunia. But I do believe we have to find a way for you to make peace with cats.

  Your turn! What have you created today?

  Say, that’s pretty good! I

  mean . . . that’s really good!

  Really, really GOOD!

  It’s got feeling! It’s got

  y’know . . . depth! It’s subtle

  messages of love and hope

  touch my very soul!

  Wait . . . are you . . .

  are you giving this

  to me?

  Well, its good to see you two finally becoming friends!

  Never in my wildest

  dreams did I ever

  believe that someone

  could give me such

  a thing of beauty, of

  pulchritude, of sheer

  exquisite grandeur.

  And how are you doing, little puppy?

  LOVELY! Just lovely! Lets show it to the whole class!

  But please try not to drool on it so much.

  Why are you so angry? I really want to know. Is it because I admired Puppys painting so much? Do

  you want to tell me?

  Do you?

  Okay. When you want to tell me, Ill

  be ready to listen. Meanwhile, its

  time for . . .

  •CHAPTER SIX•

  I want each of you to SHOW me something thats special to you and then TELL me why its important.

  Why dont you go first this time, Kitty. Just step into the circle and show us something special.

  Well, that was very . . . interesting. Lets all clap our paws together, class, because thats how we show our support for each other.

  Umm . . . Miss Dee?

  Can I go next?

  Yes, you may, little

  bunny. And that was

  a very good job of

  asking nicely.

  TREMBLE, YOU MERE MORTALS, AS I FINALLY REVEAL TO YOU THE INCREDIBLE AWESOMENESS OF MY MUTANT SUPER-VILLAIN POWER! PREPARE YOURSELVES

  AS YOU WITNESS

  BEFORE YOUR VERY

  EYES MY

  ABILITY TO . . .

  UH . . .

  What just

  happened ?

  Little bunny, you do

  understand, dont

  you, that . . .

  YES, Kitty is right! We

  need to clap and show

  our support!

  Youre next, Petunia!

  Well, I . . . uh . . . made two paintings in Arts and

  Crafts that I want to show you.

  This is the first one. It’s . . . uh . . . still a bit wet.

  This is the other one.

  It’s . . . uh . . . a portrait I made of . . . uh . . . Kitty, who’s my new best friend, even though she’s got a goofy name like “Kitty.”

  That was lovely, Petunia! Just lovely!

  Okay, Puppy. Its your turn! What are you going to

  show us?

  Wait! Where are you going, little puppy?

  Oh, I see. You found a recorder you want to play.

  Well, were all looking forward to hearing you play it!

  Partita in A minor

  for Solo Flute

  Allemande

  J. S. Bach

  BWV 1013

  That was very nice, Puppy. But I think we still have to work on this drooling issue of yours.

  That was very rude, Kitty! I really do think its high

  time we had that talk, dont you?

  I see. More rudeness.

  This negative attitude

  of yours is not helping,

  Kitty. But maybe . . . just

  maybe . . . youll learn

  something during . . .

  •CHAPTER SEVEN•

  Gather around,

  everyone! Its been a

  long day, and I think

  its time for us to all

  sit back and

  hear a story

  with a very

  important

  message.

  Todays story is Love Love Angel Kitten and Her Friends on the Farm.

  One day, Love Love

  Angel Kitten decided

  to go visit the farm.

  “Oh, what joy that would

  be,” said Love Love

  Angel Kitten to herself.

  “I’ve never met any farm

  animals.”

  “And it’s always so

  very, very fun to make

  new friends!”

  So she stepped into

  her magic rainbow

  helicopter made out

  of candy and . . .

  But you’re not just plain ol’ Kitty anymore, are you? No, now you’re . . .

  LOVE LOVE

  ANGEL KITTY!

  HEY, EVERYBODY! Look at Love Love Angel Kitty!

  She made dinner for

  us! She’s so very,

  very KIND!

  She bought us all

  presents! She’s

  so very, very

  GENEROUS!

  She cleaned

  her own

  litterbox! She’s

  so very, very HELPFUL!

  Love Love Angel Kitty is such a very, very, good, good, GOOD Kitty! Look at how much she loves Baby!

  Now look at

  how much she

  loves Puppy!

  Finally, there is peace in our home. Where once there were screaming temper tantrums, now there are only kisses. Where once there were fights and shrieks and howls, now there are only hugs. Where once there was only mayhem, now there is only love. Sweet, wonderful LOVE.

  And it’s all thanks to

  Are you all right, Kitty? Did something upset you? Were you frightened by the part where Love Love Angel Kitten tried to hug the disobedient chicken?

  Do you want to talk

  about what upset you?

  *Sigh* Fine. Maybe well finally

  have that talk after . . .

  •CHAPTER EIGHT•

  Well class, this

  has been a very

  full day. But it's

  time for graduation.

  Do you remember

  what I told you

  school is for?

  School is

  where you

  go to

  learn

  something new.

  This means that if you

  can show me that youve

  learned something new

  today, then I will give you

  a diploma to show that

  youve graduated. And

  then you can go home

  happy and proud to

  know that you will all

  be better pets.

  What have you learned

  today, little puppy?

  What a clever puppy! Youve learned how to control your drool! Heres your diploma!

  May I go next,

  Miss Dee?

  Yes you may, little

  bunny. What have

  you learned today?

  I, DR. LAGOMORPH, HAVE

  LEARNED TWO THINGS

  TODAY! TWO, I TELL YOU!

  FIRST, I HAVE LEARNED THE MYSTIC

  SECRETS OF TRANSFORMING MY ENEMIES

  INTO TWENTY-POUND BLOCKS OF

  GORGONZOLA CHEESE BY USING THIS

  ANCIENT CRYSTAL I FOUND HERE INSIDE

  THIS CHAMBER OF LEARNING! I WILL

  USE IT TO FINALLY DEFEAT THAT

  DESPICABLE DO-GOODER CAPTAIN

  FANTASTICAT AND HIS MINISCULE

  SIDEKICK POWER MOUSE.

  THEN NOTHING SHALL

  STAND IN THE WAY

  OF MY COMPLETE

  AND TOTAL WORLD

  DOMINATION!

  Is that my chalk?

  Ummmm . . .

  probably. Can

  I have it, please?

  You may, but only if

  you tell me what

  e
lse you learned.

  Well . . . umm . . . I guess

  I also learned that people

  will pay more attention to

  me if I don’t interrupt

  them, even though I’m

  trying to get their

  attention.

  Well said, little bunny.

  Heres your diploma!

  Now then, Petunia . . .

  what have you

  learned today?

  SNIFF

  SNIFF

  Wait a minute . . .

  SNIIIFFF

  snort

  You smell

  like a . . .

  OH, HOW WRONG I HAVE BEEN! I HAVE

  WASTED SO MUCH TIME HATING CATS WHEN

  I SHOULD HAVE BEEN LOVING THEM

  AS I DO MY NEW

  BEST FRIEND!

  FROM THIS MOMENT ON, I SHALL DEDICATE

  MY LIFE NOT TO CHASING OR BITING OR

  CHEWING BUT TO LOVING THESE

  KINDEST AND GENTLEST OF

  ALL THE EARTH’S CREATURES.

  NEVER AGAIN WILL I SPEAK

  ILL OF YOU

  BEAUTIFUL

  BEASTS.

  THIS I VOW!

  Nice job, Petunia.

  I knew youd

  eventually come

  around!

  Wow. This really

  explains why there

  are so many cows in

  my neighborhood.

  Well, Kitty, I suppose

  its time you and I

  had that talk.

  Do you think you

  learned anything

  today?

  Dont you

  want to

  talk?

  Dont

  you like

  school?

  Dont

  you like

  learning

  new

  things?

  Well, thats too bad.

  Im sorry that you say you

  didnt learn anything and that

  you wont graduate today.

  But I learned something

  about you today, Kitty.

  Do you want to know

  what it is?

  I watched you help your

  puppy friend with his

  drooling problem.

  I watched you be the first

  to support the little bunny

  with your applause.

  I watched you give Petunia

  your painting and make

  a new friend.

  Do you want to know

  what I learned about

  you today, Kitty?

  I learned that youre

  not such a bad kitty,

  after all.

  So Im sorry you didnt

  like school very much,

  Kitty. But I want you

  to go home today

  understanding

  one thing . . .

  Im very proud to have

  been your teacher.

  Never!

  CAN DOGS AND CATS EVER

  BECOME FRIENDS?

  Dogs and cats can and will become friends, but they can’t do this by themselves. They’ll need your

  help. The key is PATIENCE. Helping your pets to get along could take a long time and will require a lot of your attention.

  First, take a few precautions.

  Trim the claws on your cat. Put the dog on a leash. Make sure the cat has a place to hide or escape if things get out of hand. And keep some treats on hand . . . you’ll see why in a moment.

  If you’re bringing a cat into the home, keep her in her carrier and let the dog sniff the cat through the air

  holes. If the dog is calm,

  give him some treats as a

  reward. If he barks or is

  excitable, pull on the leash

  and tell him “NO” until he

  calms down.

  If you’re bringing a dog into the home, also keep the dog in a cage if you can, at first. Bring the cat into the room by carrying her and petting her to let her know it’s okay. If your cat gets wiggly or runs, don’t punish her for being understandably anxious. Just pet her and console her.

  Another tactic you might try is to keep both animals inside their respective carriers and place them

  both in the same room with their doors facing each other. You should stay in the room, too, if only to give them both treats when they are calm. If either of your pets continues to be anxious about the

  situation, you should be prepared to keep them separate from each other the best you can and repeat this process each day for as long as it takes.

  In time, you should be able to train each pet to think of the other as another member of the family . . . an annoying member, perhaps, but part of the family nonetheless.

  SIGH—I

  already have a

  lot of annoying

  members of

  my family.

  •EPILOGUE•

  Well, Kitty, I’m pretty disappointed with you that you didn’t graduate. I can’t help but think that maybe you just didn’t try hard enough.

  *SIGH* And I guess this means that you’re the same old, cranky, ornery, disagreeable Kitty you’ve always been.

  Your teacher Miss Dee kept telling me how much she likes you and how much she hopes that you’ll be able to go back to school for another chance. She seemed to really like you, Kitty. But I don’t know. I just don’t see any reason to send you back to that school . . .

  unless we really, really, REALLY have to.

  KITTY!

  HEY GANG!

  TURN THE PAGE

  FOR AN AMAZING,

  SPECTACULAR,

  ASTONISHING,

  SENSATIONAL

  BONUS!

  I think I need more muscles.

  You have enough. Now hush!

  What does

  "subterranean"

  mean?

  Don’t miss BAD KITTY’s picture books!

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  ISBN 978-1-59643-069-3

  $16.99 US/$18.99 CAN

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  A Bad Kitty Christmas

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  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  NICK BRUEL is the author and illustrator of the phenomenally successful Bad Kitty series including the 2012 CBC Children’s Choice Book Award winner Bad Kitty Meets the Baby. Nick has also written and illustrated many other picture books including Who is Melvin Bubble? and Bob and Otto. Nick lives with his wife and daughter in Tarrytown, New York. Visit him at nickbruel.com.

  badkittybooks.com

  mackids.com

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